What IS Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep? NILMDTS is a 501(c)(3) not for profit organization made up of volunteer photographers that provide remembrance photography services free of charge to families experiencing the loss of an infant.
What babies will NILMDTS photograph? (i.e. minimum gestational age)
Our foundation guidelines are that an infant must be 25 weeks gestation. We do however; make some exceptions for infants that are slightly younger than the 25 week guideline depending on the condition of the baby. We ask the medical professionals (doctor or nursing staff) to assess the condition of the baby, and make the determination if we are able to get a quality photograph. Please assess the condition of the baby conservatively, keeping in mind that our volunteers are not medical professionals and what can seem routine to nursing staff may actually be too shocking for our volunteers.
What is the maximum age you will photograph?
While we do not have a black and white rule on this one, we ask that you keep our primary mission in mind. Our heart is to provide remembrance photography to those families whose infants will never leave the hospital and will never have the opportunity for professional portraiture. While our desire would be to expand our services to other children, at this time our network of volunteers is still not sufficient to handle all of the requests for infants, and so our focus must remain there for now. In situations where a child has spent most of their life in the hospital NICU/PICU and has not had an opportunity for professional portraiture, you are welcome to try to find a volunteer on a case by case basis. Please use our Find a Photographer Search to locate a local volunteer. Please be sure to tell them the special circumstances around the situation, and then it will be their choice if they would like to take the session or not.
How can I request a service for a family?
If you have a family that meets the criteria for our services, we ask that you FIRST contact us to find out the availability of a photographer BEFORE you offer services to the family. Of course you can introduce them to our program and let them know that you are attempting to find an available photographer, but you need to let them know that since this is an ALL VOLUNTEER service there is NO GUARANTEE we will be able to find a photographer to service every request. We do, however, make every attempt possible to meet every request. You must receive permission from the family for us to take photographs. The family MUST WANT our service. We request that all families sign the Authorization for Release form found HERE.
Does having NILMDTS violate HIPAA policy?
No. Simply put, we are guests of the family and therefore are allowed on premises if the family has invited us to their hospital room, even if the invitation has been extended through the medical care provider. We do not socialize with the family, nor give their information to anybody outside of our organization.*Note: We have formal documentation from the Department of Housing and Human Service Office of Civil Rights which oversees HIPAA stating that NILMDTS is, "not a covered entity subject to the HIPAA Privacy Rule."
How quickly can a photographer be here for a NILMDTS session?
We have volunteer photographers that have agreed to provide services. In addition, all volunteers either own their own photography studio business and/or have full time jobs and families. With this in mind, for most cases it could take several hours before a photographer is available for a session.
When should we call for a photographer?
Please call between the hours of 7am and 10pm. Most of the time you will know during these hours that our service will be needed. (i.e. baby not born, mom laboring, scheduled removal of support, scheduled c-section, etc.) If the case is a mom in labor expected to deliver between the hours of 10pm and 7am with a fetal demise or baby not expected to live long after delivery, please call the main contact prior to 10pm and we will attempt to locate a photographer that will be 'on call' during the night for the family. If we are successful at locating a photographer, we will provide you with that photographers number to directly call during the off hours. The more notice we have about a family's need, the greater the chance we will have a photographer available to provide NILMDTS services.
Please keep us posted on the progress of the family requesting NILMDTS services.
Many of our photographers will cancel plans or appointments in order to be on-call for a family. Please be respectful of our time and let us know if the mother or situation is progressing slower or quicker than expected. Please remember, we are all volunteers providing this unique, free service and all expenses incurred are paid directly by our photographers personally.
What if a volunteer photographer is not available? While our goal is that no family go without our service, it does happen. In the case that a volunteer cannot be found, the nursing staff can take digital photos and our team of Digital Retouch Artists will turn them around for the family. We have created a posing guide for hospital staff, to help ensure that the best possible photos are created: Posing Guide for Hospitals
What is provided to the families?
Each family is provided with a private and sensitive photography session and one beautifully edited and retouched printable CD file of images with a copyright release which will allow them to have the photographs printed by a photo lab of their choice.
What is the cost for NILMDTS services?
There is ABSOLUTELY no cost to the families or the hospital/hospice for the services that NILMDTS provides.
How can I support NILMDTS?
By educating and bringing awareness to NILMDTS Remembrance Photography. This is an all volunteer operation organized by a small staff of three at our headquarters based in Colorado. We continue to have overhead expenses and incurred expenses with the online training and support of our affiliated photographers. We hope in the future to help better serve our photographers with onsite bereavement education, counseling and training.Your financial donations are greatly appreciated to help see this organization into the future. CLICK HERE to find out how you can help support the mission of NILMDTS.
I am an L & D nurse and I have taken care of my share of stillborns/fetal demises and none of them look like the pictures in your brochure. We have looked at these pictures and are wondering if they are real life photos? I do not want to show this brochure to a grieving mother and have her expect a picture to look anything like the ones your company has in this brochure.The deterioration process has already set in hours and days before these fetuses/infants are born. They just do not come out looking like these pictures. I know I can present this brochure to a mother and tell her that her baby is probably not going to look as good as these pictures do, but there in lies my concerns that this brochure misrepresents most fetal/neonatal deaths. All of us here in L & D have the responsibility and the task to take pictures of stillborns or fetal demises, so we know the concept of what is expected and needed. We take our jobs in the bereavement process of these parents and families very seriously.
NILMDTS also takes the bereavement process of our families very seriously, and wecan assure you that all images on our brochure and on this web site, are from actual sessions with our NILMDTS Affiliated Photographers.It is the mission of NILMDTS to aid families in their healing, bring hope to their future and honor their child. No one has any control over how the baby will look like when he/she is born. With this in mind, we have simple guidelines that have been stated above. For some images, simply converting them to black and white or sepia tones are the only touches needed. Some baby's might require more extensive work with photoshop, if for example, there is peeling or missing skin, discoloration or heaving bruising. NEVER does NILMDTS change the physical characteristics of the baby.The soft, gentle heirloom photographs of these beautiful babies are an important step in the healing process. They allow families to honor and cherish their babies, and share the spirit of their lives.
It is important that we also learn from bereaved parents. We asked this question to some of our families on our forum. Here are their responses:
It was nice of the nurse to take the photographs but she was not a experienced photographer and if I could go back in time I wished I would have looked at them that night and noticed so I would have known to call my boss (who is a professional photographer) and have him come and do a session.~Kerry
I remember him as he is in my photos from Tina (NILMDTS affiliated photographer). He looks so peaceful and at rest. Yes, I realize that he was discolored and his life had left his little body but when I close my eyes and remember him I remember his features not his color. That is what I love most about Tina's photos she used black and white photos. I have pictures from the hospital that I never look at. I do not want to remember my angel like that.~Linda
My little Mariah was literally bruised from head to toe, but I would have been honored to have pictures taken of her. I only dream something such as NILMDTS would have been available when losing Mariah at that time.~Mary
When Alex was stillborn, I received three polaroids. That's it. And they are awful. In my mind, I can imagine the photographs I would have been able to receive if only I had known about NILMDTS. Yeah, there would have been some rough edges...but they would be a heck of a lot better than three polaroids. In my efforts to spread the word about NILMDTS I tell the nurses, as a grieving parent, that I appreciate those three polaroids...I really do...but there would have been no harm in giving me something else...something more of MY child.~Catherine
The nurse that told me about NILMDTS said that she had never used the service before but she knew of other nurses that did so she left it up to me if I wanted to or not. I had no idea at the time what to expect but I am truly thankful that I did have the photographer come.~Cathy
I did not get to use NILMDTS when our daughter was born as you know, but I looked at some of her pictures last night. Some of the pictures were definitely more "ugly/disfigured" than I remembered them. The email said your photos looked like dolls/live babies. Isn't that some of the purpose? To remember our angels more like we remember them...perfect in our minds.~Kathy
I have seen the photos that the hospital takes for the stillbirth photos and honestly I find it hard to look at some because that isn't how we want to remember them. When our babies go to heaven they are perfect. Why it is so wrong to remember them like the angelic babies that they are. Our photos that we have are black and white, and we have colored ones.I love all the photos we have, but it is very hard to look at the colored ones. All parents should have this choice. If you were in our shoes and you had the choice between a polaroid or a professional doing your photographs, which would you choose?~Jaie
I love all of my photos of Anthony...I took 213 and Julie, our NILMDTS affiliated photographer took 47........I look at all of them, just about everyday..........but can I share all of them?...NO...The photos that Julie took are the ones that I can share with the world...~Estrella