We always knew we wanted a family and started trying right after we were married on May 8, 2015. By the next year, we still weren’t pregnant and knew we would need some help to conceive. So, we then entered into the scary world of infertility treatments and after four rounds of IUI, we found out we were pregnant on May 1, 2017!
We were beyond excited to finally be starting our family.
My pregnancy was relatively normal. I experienced the hallmark symptoms of fatigue, nausea, cravings, and heartburn, but I was so excited and thankful to be pregnant. We began getting the house ready for baby, remodeling the room that was to become the nursery. Baby registries were started, and the showers were planned.
While still in the womb, Chase was always very active, moving and kicking, especially in the early mornings and late evenings. He let us know that he loved going to church by dancing around to the music every Sunday. We enjoyed reading books to him each night and Chase would often give an approving kick when the story was finished.
On Thursday, October 5, 2017, everything changed. I had the day off of work and slept in. I normally felt the baby move in the earlier morning right before getting out of bed and at night when going to sleep. When I didn’t feel him move that morning I figured it was just because I had slept in and missed it; I didn’t really think anything of it. I went about my day, running errands and cleaning the house.
Calvin came home from work; we ate dinner and watched TV. When it was time for bed, we anxiously waited to feel the baby move before turning out the light, but the baby wasn’t moving. After waiting for about 15 minutes, we decided to call the 24-hour nurse line at the hospital and were advised to come in for monitoring.
That is when we received the devastating news that our sweet baby had died. I was 26 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
Labor was induced on Friday, October 6th around 4:30 pm. Our son Chase Herman Lamkin entered the world at 1:23 am on Saturday, October 7, 2017; he was already one of God’s precious angels.
He was beautiful and perfect in every way, with long arms, legs, fingers, and toes. He weighed 1 pound 12 ounces and was 13 inches long. Chase had a full head of dark blonde, curly hair and sweet cherry red lips. My parents and siblings all got the chance to meet, hold and tell Chase how much they love him.
We spent many hours with our son and a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep was able to capture those lovely moments for us to cherish forever.
We had big hopes and dreams for him, but his little life was cut too short. We dreamed of taking him to the lake on our boat and couldn’t wait to teach him to fish. Grandpa and his uncles would have surely taught him all about football and wrestling. We hoped that those long fingers of his would help him master the piano or another musical instrument. Mostly, we prayed that he would have a happy life, making and achieving dreams of his own.
We were told there was no explanation for why this happened. There were no anatomical or chromosomal abnormalities. We will never know what happened to our son, but we find comfort in knowing Chase did not suffer and was not hurt. This is what we choose to take from not knowing what happened.
We will love Chase for as long as we live.
Calvin and I are devoted to making sure he is never forgotten and that he will always know how much we wanted him and love him. This is why we are working hard to create something to honor Chase.
Calvin is an avid fisherman and he was most looking forward to teaching Chase to fish. We could not think of a better way to honor his memory than to host a fishing tournament in Chase’s name benefiting Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.
We will be forever grateful for the invaluable gift they provided.
~ Nicole, Mother to Chase Herman