There are no words to describe the sacred moment in which a father holds his newborn son for the first time in his arms. In December of last year, on New Year’s Eve to be exact, I became a father of not just one, but two boys. My twin sons.

Luca and Daniel were born sleeping at 35 weeks, just ten days away from my wife’s scheduled c-section.

On Monday, December 30th, we went to see the OB for a regular appointment, the last one before their arrival. Something was wrong, there was no movement. She couldn’t find a heartbeat. We went straight to the hospital. I will never forget my wife’s face when we received the news that our boys were gone, and gone was the dream of having them with us – that was no longer our reality. From this moment, I felt like I needed to protect my family once the doctor explained the next steps, I knew that what would follow would become the hardest and most trying time in our lives.

I was present each minute as my wife was induced, began experiencing contractions, and prepared to labor and deliver the babies naturally. The room was filled with a mix of sadness, anxiety, and excitement as we prepared to meet our boys. Despite the pain and heartbreak we felt, we were happy and grateful that we would be able to see their faces and to hold and cuddle them, even if it was for such a short period. This would be our chance to hold them in this life.

Luca was born at 6:14 am and two minutes later his brother, Daniel entered this world. We were speechless at the beauty and perfection of their tiny bodies. We do not know why this has happened to us, why we would not be taking our kids home, and raising them. It is still so very difficult to process and to try to make sense of it all, however, we believe there is a plan and purpose for each of us here on earth, we also believe and know that they are watching over us from the other side.

We are so grateful for the love and support we received from our family. It is during this time that we were introduced to the NILMDTS Foundation, a volunteer photographer through the foundation. We never imagined we’d be able to find a photographer willing to drop everything to come take pictures of our babies – especially given the day that it was. Loraine was Perfect! She was so caring and so gentle. She delicately positioned the boys in such a loving and respectful way. She approached them with love and tenderness. Loraine took her time to make sure she captured those precious moments we would have with our boys. She even made them bracelets with their names.

As a father, I will never forget what she did for my family. Even though we just met, once she finished taking the pictures, she hugged us, cried with us, and wished us the best for the new year.

Loraine was so tender and empathetic towards us, we are so very grateful for the beautiful memories she captured. Thanks to her talent, we have the most beautiful and personalized photographs and slideshow of our precious boys.

Luca and Daniel made me a father. They will always be a part of me and my story. They were so pure and perfect, chosen spirits and angels to be earthside with me just long enough to physically hold them in my arms for a few hours.

I am so grateful for becoming a better man. I am grateful for my wife and for becoming a better husband. I am now eternally grateful for becoming a new man because this experience has changed me. I am now a father to my precious angel babies, Luca and Daniel.

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2020-06-30T19:34:18+00:00June 2nd, 2020|Families, NILMDTS News, Parents|4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Rebecca Duffy June 3, 2020 at 12:19 am

    I am so heartbroken for you. They are absolutely beautiful. Our son was stillborn at 37 weeks and we also had just a wonderful photographer. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.

  2. Debbie Bricely June 3, 2020 at 3:31 pm

    35 years ago our son was born sleeping at 39 weeks. Sadly there were no services for photographs except 1 Polaroid. There also was not a lot of focus on the grieving process and support for fathers. Prayers for peace for you and yours!!

  3. Elizabeth Lynn June 3, 2020 at 8:31 pm

    Our triplet grandchildren, James, Brianna and Makayla, were born too soon and passed. Just happy that we got to meet, hold and kiss them. So sorry.❤️❤️

  4. Jan Cardoso June 4, 2020 at 2:00 am

    Same thing happened to us almost 8yrs ago. I was 38 weeks when my precious son, Noah was born still. I was due to have a c-section on a Monday, and that saturday we lost him. He didn’t have a heartbeat too. I feel your pain. I still feel the same pain. I cry at times whenever i think of him. It does get a little better as time goes by but your heart will never be the same. God bless you!

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