My Why, Unanswered Prayers
When Angie and I reflect back on one of the most heartbreaking experiences of our young lives, I remember the song “Unanswered Prayers” by Garth Brooks. The families that we have today and the connections we have made with NILMDTS would never have occurred. In June 2010, we lost our daughter, Kaylin Isabelle, at 39 ½ weeks.
While we will never know why the good Lord took our daughter from us, what we realized is that he had bigger plans. There is not a day that goes by that we don’t think about Kaylin and she is embedded into our daily lives. Whether we visit her at the cemetery, look at the pictures of her on our walls, or find unique ways to honor her; she is there looking over our family.
We recognize that everybody’s story is different, that the way that they handle grief varies, and the manner in which they forever honor their child is unique. For us, it became more about how we are going to move forward – a big part of that is our involvement in Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. Shortly after our loss, my wife became heavily involved as a parent coordinator, making friends with the photographers and volunteers that gave us an incredible treasure – beautiful pictures of our daughter and capturing the moments of our extended family coming together to embrace, support, and help each other through such a difficult time. After multiple years of supporting NILMDTS both as volunteers and through donations, Brett was provided the opportunity to serve as a member of the board. This is a position that continues to help our family honor Kaylin as we help other families have the same opportunities and support that we were afforded.
Honoring Kaylin has also brought joy to our family, from purchasing an old Jeep that we can cruise around town in, with a NILMDTS bumper stick on the back. Purchasing a little piece of heaven on the Colorado River that we appropriately name Kaylin’s Cliffside Retreat. Visiting the cemetery where Kaylin rests as a family, where we take time to talk with Kaylin while enjoying the outdoors, including a family rock skipping challenge. Finally, forever honoring Kaylin with a tattoo design specifically for her.
In regards to that Garth Brooks song, the loss of our daughter was no doubt the hardest circumstance that I hope our family ever has to deal with. However, the unanswered prayers from that June allowed us to be a support for friends that unfortunately experienced similar grief; something that only those that have truly felt that pain can help others cope.
We are now blessed with two incredible young men that know their sister and talk about her as though they have always known her. We will forever love her and thank NILMDTS for impacting our lives in such a positive manner. We encourage everyone to find ways to encourage hospitals, photographers, and friends to understand and promote the wonderful services NILMDTS provides; to provide those wonderful heartbroken parents with the treasure of pictures of their child.
We also share in your loss. I was 28 weeks with Rachelle Dawn and to save my life they had to do emergency c-section. She only lived nine hours. I was in ICU when they flew her hours away. I never got to see nor hold her. She would have turned 46 in July. She was our fourth daughter.
Even though I never saw her, she is in my heart daily and her sisters grew up knowing they had a baby sister.
Back in 1975, everyone just pretended she never existed. It’s really hard leaving hospital after third c-section to not bring a baby home. Our daughters were three and eight month old twins.