Baby Elyza by NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer Melanie Rodger

My spouse and I were expecting our second child to arrive in early March of this year. Everything had been going well during the pregnancy. Elyza measured where they were supposed to, had a strong heartbeat, and the pregnancy itself was a happy and healthy one. That is, until mid-February, when everything changed.

One night, I noticed Elyza had stopped moving as much as they normally did. I assumed they were just sleeping and went to bed myself. The next morning, they still weren’t moving, so I decided to drive myself to our hospital 45 minutes away to get checked out. I left my spouse and our firstborn at home, thinking nothing of it, assuming I’d be there and back rather quickly. I’ll never forget the series of events that followed.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was taken up to labor and delivery to get checked out. The first nurse used the standard wand to find a heartbeat, and I noticed she was having trouble, but I figured Elyza had just flipped over.

More and more people entered the room as they brought in a full ultrasound machine. When they scanned over Elyza’s heart, there was no movement. I saw the nurse with the wand slowly shake her head to her colleagues, and in that moment, I knew our lives were forever changed.

We lost our baby, our Elyza, just two and a half weeks before their due date.

I called my mom, and she came to get me. We drove the 45 minutes home to pick up my spouse and our firstborn, then drove back to the hospital to drop my spouse and me off. My mom took our firstborn home with her, while my spouse and I prepared ourselves for the induction process. I had been induced with our firstborn, so the process was familiar, which brought a small sense of normalcy to the most heart-wrenching situation of our lives. I was hooked up to monitors, though not as many since they no longer needed to monitor Elyza, given medication, and told to wait for labor to begin.

During this process, we were introduced to a death doula whose job was to help us understand what to expect during and after birth. They were incredibly helpful and provided support by decorating our room with fairy lights, giving us pamphlets on funeral homes, and getting a nurse any time I needed something. Their compassion helped us through the dissociative cloud we were stuck in.

Photo by NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer Melanie Rodger

After a few days of labor and many mixed emotions about giving birth to a stillborn, I delivered Elyza on February 21, 2025, at 5:34 a.m. I remember holding them and feeling the same way I did with our first child. I was filled with pride and joy. I never wanted to put them down and held them every chance I got. The nurses helped create a memory box for us, and our death doula connected us with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep gave us an opportunity to connect with Elyza on a personal and deeply meaningful level.

In our sea of grief, this organization was a beacon of light. Elyza was placed inside a cold cot, which keeps a low temperature to delay the effects of their body’s changes. It gave us more time to take photos, snuggle, love them, and admire their perfection. NILMDTS, especially Melanie, were lifesavers. Melanie was so incredibly kind and shared that she had lost her child around the same time in pregnancy as we did. She took beautiful photos of Elyza, and now we have them to cherish forever.

NILMDTS is an incredible organization, and without them, I don’t know what we would have done. Getting professional-grade photos at no cost allowed us to grieve, heal, and grow from this traumatic experience. These photos are a beautiful reminder that Elyza is real, and they are cherished and loved beyond comprehension. I can’t thank NILMDTS enough for their support, which gave us the priceless gift of positive memories of our precious Elyza.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a dedicated 501(c)(3) non-profit, offers families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss with complimentary remembrance portraits, capturing precious moments with their babies. Your generous donation can help us extend this heartfelt service to more families in need. Please consider supporting us here.