Photo is of baby Annelise Caudill by Affiliated Photographer Jen Potter

Volunteering in Memory of My Sister: Why I Serve with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

My parents were just teenagers when they found out they were expecting my older sister. My mom had already celebrated her baby shower and was eagerly preparing to welcome her baby girl. On Christmas Eve in 1978, she went to the hospital ready to give birth. Instead of bringing home her daughter, she experienced the heartbreak of a stillbirth. The umbilical cord had wrapped around my sister’s neck.

My mom never had the chance to hold her baby. She was not able to look at her. At that time, remembrance photography was not offered to families experiencing infant loss. There were no hospital photographers and no organizations like Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to preserve those final moments.

Decades later, my mom was given a single photograph of my sister taken in her casket. It was the only image she ever had. That photo meant everything, but it could never replace the opportunity she lost to see, hold, and remember her baby in those first moments after birth. She carried the weight of that loss without closure.

Growing up with my family’s story shaped my heart. I knew that if there was ever a way to give back to families experiencing stillbirth or infant loss, I wanted to be part of it. My parents did not receive remembrance photography. I wanted to help ensure other families would.

My First Remembrance Photography Session

About a week after officially joining the team at Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, I received my first call to attend a hospital session alongside another volunteer. When I got the call, my heart raced. I was nervous and unsure of myself. What if I cried? What if I could not handle it?

When we arrived at the hospital, sweet Roxanne walked me through every step of the session. We reviewed my camera equipment together, and she offered helpful guidance on my settings. Her calm presence steadied me. Even though I felt anxious and overwhelmed, she reassured me that I was not alone.

When we entered the room, she gently guided the conversation with the family while I focused on photographing their baby. The family was beautiful. The father was so tender with his little boy, carefully supporting both his baby and the baby’s mother throughout the session. Watching his love and strength during such a painful time was incredibly moving.

The room began in deep sorrow, but as we captured images and shared previews with the family, I saw a shift. There was peace. There was gratitude. There was even a glimpse of joy in knowing their baby’s life was being honored. Despite the heartbreaking circumstances, the experience felt sacred. In that moment, I knew this was exactly how I wanted to serve families experiencing the loss of a baby.

The Impact of Remembrance Photography

I left that session with a grateful heart. I had been invited into one of the most painful days of a family’s life, and I was able to give them a gift that would last forever. When the final edited images were delivered, I received a heartfelt message from the family thanking me. Reading their words brought tears to my eyes. I felt deeply honored to have been trusted with their memories.

Since joining in July 2025, I have served on five remembrance photography sessions. Each one has been unique. Each family has a different story. Each baby leaves a lasting imprint on my heart.

Recently, I was able to help bring Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep services to a local hospital in my area. Knowing that families there will now have access to free professional remembrance photography during infant loss is incredibly meaningful to me.

My parents did not receive this gift in 1978. They did not have images to hold onto in those first moments of grief. Today, I volunteer in honor of my sister, Jamie. Through every session, I carry her memory with me.

Remembrance photography provides families experiencing stillbirth or infant loss with tangible memories of their baby. It offers connection, validation, and a way to honor a life that mattered. While the experience is bittersweet, the impact is priceless.

Volunteering with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep allows me to transform my family’s loss into purpose. And in doing so, I hope to give other families something my own parents never received.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a dedicated 501(c)(3) non-profit, offers families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss with complimentary remembrance portraits, capturing precious moments with their babies. Your generous donation can help us extend this heartfelt service to more families in need. Please consider supporting us here.