On this Father’s Day

On this Father’s Day

Father’s Day is a very special day. It is day where we can thank our dads for all the time and love they have given us over the years. A day where my kids can make me special drawings or a beautiful piece of abstract, post-modern macaroni art. However, there was a time that I thought this day would never come. We lost our first daughter after a brief 45 minutes of life. While that day and the months leading up to it did indeed make me a father, the day specifically designated to celebrate dads felt different the  following years. I knew I was a dad. I had a daughter. And while my wife did an amazing job of making me feel special that day, there was something missing. I missed the macaroni art. I missed the undercooked pancakes brought to me in bed as I heard the chaos happening in the kitchen. But I was still a dad.

I think this is what makes Father’s day so hard for Dads who have lost a child. Some sweep it under the rug like nothing happened.

And that’s fine.

Some celebrate the life of their child whether that be only in the womb, or for a short time on earth.

And that’s fine.

Whatever you are feeling, thinking, processing, that’s fine. It’s important to know that everyone processes loss in their own way, and in the way that is right for them at that moment.

My first Father’s Day, 7 years ago looked a lot different than Father’s Day now. Now I have 3 beautiful kids that celebrate with me, and I feel very blessed to be their father. Then, I was grieving and missing my two little girls hoping and dreaming of Father's Days like this one now.

I still miss my two little girls and wish they could be here with us, but what is comforting is knowing that they are celebrating Father’s Day, it just looks a bit different. They get to celebrate with my father, my wife’s father, my kids’ father, everyone on the planet…their Father. The creator of the universe, the Father of it all, gets to celebrate with my daughters.

Father’s Day is a day to be thankful for the kids you have. All of them. Whether they be in heaven or on earth, I thank God for them every day. And until I see my beautiful girls again, they get to celebrate every day with their Father in Heaven.

If you have kids here on earth, have kids in heaven, or wish to have kids…

Happy Father’s Day.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a dedicated 501(c)(3) non-profit, offers families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss with complimentary remembrance portraits, capturing precious moments with their babies. Your generous donation can help us extend this heartfelt service to more families in need. Please consider supporting us here.