I’ve wanted to be a mama since I was a little girl. When I found out I was pregnant in July 2025, I had so many mixed emotions. I was incredibly excited, but of course, I was nervous too. Shortly after, we found out we were having a baby girl. We were so happy and already loved her so much.

I was extremely sick every day from about seven weeks until 16 weeks. It was horrible, but I kept reminding myself that it would all be worth it when I got to meet our baby girl.

At my 20-week anatomy scan, everything seemed okay at first. The ultrasound technician was having trouble getting a good view of my cervix, so I drank some water and laid on my side. She eventually asked us to wait in the waiting area while she showed the images to the radiologist.

When she called my boyfriend and me back into the room, she told us, "I can't tell you why, but you need to head to Labor and Delivery ASAP."

I immediately started freaking out.

A High-Risk Pregnancy

When we got to the hospital, they checked my cervix and discovered I was already 1 1/2 centimeters dilated.

I was rushed by ambulance to a hospital two hours away for emergency surgery. The doctors needed to place a stitch around my cervix to help prevent our baby from coming too early. This procedure is called a cervical cerclage.

After the successful procedure, I was considered high risk for the remainder of my pregnancy. I started healing slowly, and my boyfriend, Troy, was amazing through every step. I was put on progesterone as an extra precaution and was on pelvic rest for most of the remainder of my pregnancy. I was also on strict bed rest for the first few weeks.

Despite everything, our baby girl continued to grow. She was on the smaller side at my maternal-fetal medicine appointments, but she was very active. I loved feeling her kick.

The Day We Lost Our Baby

On Sunday, March 22, I didn't feel our baby moving. We had just done our maternity photos the day before, when I felt her kicking all day.

On Monday, I had another appointment. This was supposed to be my last ultrasound before our baby arrived. My mom and mother-in-law, Robin, were with me.

During the ultrasound, the technician kept looking at our baby's heart. My mom asked what she was looking at, and the technician said it was her stomach.

My mom could tell I was nervous and came over to hug me while I was lying on the ultrasound bed. She told me everything was going to be okay.

Then the ultrasound technician left the room for about five minutes.

That had never happened before, and I immediately knew something was wrong.

When she came back, my mother-in-law asked, "Is baby okay?"

She said, "The doctor will tell you."

We walked into another room with two chairs and a television screen. My mom and I sat down while my mother-in-law stood in the corner.

The doctor joined us through a video call.

She said, "Miss Craig?"

I said yes and raised my hand. My mom and mother-in-law said hello.

Then she said, "I'm sorry."

There was a long pause.

"But there is no heartbeat."

I immediately started asking questions. I didn't know what else to do. I was completely numb and kept asking if there was anything else that could be done.

She just kept repeating, "Miss Craig, there is no heartbeat. I'm sorry."

I remember wishing she had been there in person instead of delivering such devastating news through a television screen. It was one of the hardest moments of my life.

When I got home, I told Troy the horrible news.

He looked at me and the first thing he asked was, "Are you okay, babe?"

I told him, "It doesn't feel real. I don't even know how to feel."

I hugged him and told him I loved him.

We immediately packed some things and went to the hospital. My mom, Robin, Troy, and I were there, and my Gaga-in-law joined us later.

I still couldn't believe it was real. It felt like a nightmare.

Meeting Our Beautiful Harper Renee

My cervical cerclage was removed, and I was already four centimeters dilated. The induction process began shortly afterward.

From the beginning of my pregnancy, I had told myself, "I don't want an epidural. I don't want an epidural. I don't want an epidural."

As labor progressed, I started to reconsider.

The anesthesiologist was in the room and ready to give me the epidural, but everything suddenly happened so quickly. My family was getting ready to leave to move their car when the nurse told them they might want to wait.

They stayed.

I was given some IV pain medication, and the nurse checked my cervix. I was already 9 1/2 centimeters dilated. No one could believe how quickly I had progressed.

I walked up and down the halls with Troy and my mom. I bounced on the pregnancy ball during contractions, which helped with the pain, while Troy rubbed my lower back.

I pushed for only about 30 minutes.

At 4:08 a.m. on March 24, 2026, our beautiful daughter, Harper Renee, was born with her angel wings. She weighed 6 pounds, 2 ounces and was 19 inches long.

We were able to hold Harper and spend as much time with her as we wanted.

Saying Yes to NILMDTS

Our nurses told us about Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS) and offered us the opportunity to have a volunteer photographer come to the hospital.

At first, I didn't want to do it. I wasn't sure I wanted photographs taken during such a painful time.

But then I thought about it.

After someone you love so much passes away, all you have are your memories and photographs to look back on. I decided to say yes.

Our NILMDTS photographer was so sweet and compassionate. She captured photographs of Harper and our family that we will cherish forever.

Troy wished he could give her money because of how amazing she had been, but she wouldn't accept it. She even had tears in her eyes as she explained why she became a NILMDTS photographer.

It was such an emotional moment.

I later messaged her privately to tell her how much we appreciated her being there for us during the worst time of our lives.

Those photographs are now some of the most meaningful things we have of our daughter.

Living With the Questions

Losing Harper has been the worst pain I have ever experienced. I had to heal physically from giving birth while also trying to process the fact that my baby wasn't coming home with me.

I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.

I know that something happened with my placenta. The staff in the room commented several times about how small it was. But the hardest part is that we still don't know exactly why this happened.

After everything we had been through during my pregnancy, there are still so many questions we don't have answers to.

Even through the heartbreak, I will always be grateful for the nurses and doctors who cared for us. They were incredible during one of the worst experiences of our lives.

About a month after Harper's birth, I made nursing baskets for the nurses who had cared for us. One of the nurses even made sure my OBGYN told me at my next appointment how thankful she was for her basket.

Those small moments of kindness meant so much to me.

Going back to my OBGYN for my postpartum appointment was incredibly difficult. It was so soon after losing Harper, and being around pregnant mothers made me feel so sad.

When I was called back, my doctor's medical assistant gave me a huge hug and made sure I was doing somewhat okay. My OBGYN also told me, "Let me know if you ever need anything. You can always message me."

I was truly blessed with an incredible support system and an amazing medical team.

Remembering Harper Renee

I am also forever grateful that we said yes to NILMDTS.

Harper Renee may not be here physically with us, but she will always be our daughter. She will always be part of our family, and she will always be remembered.

The photographs we received through Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep gave us something we can hold onto forever. They allow us to remember Harper and the precious time we had with her.

There is no way to make losing a baby easy. But having photographs, memories, and people who walk beside you through the darkest moments can make sure your baby's life is never forgotten.

Harper Renee will always be loved, always be missed, and always be our beautiful angel baby.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, a dedicated 501(c)(3) non-profit, offers families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss with complimentary remembrance portraits, capturing precious moments with their babies. Your generous donation can help us extend this heartfelt service to more families in need. Please consider supporting us here.