Grief, a poem…

It’s an empty room.
It’s unopened baby shower gifts.
It’s dead flowers.
It’s a shattered heart.
It’s an empty soul.
It’s staying in bed.
It’s staying home.
It’s anger.
It’s panic attacks.
It’s bitterness.
It’s jealousy.
It’s every emotion imaginable.
It’s sleeping all day.
It’s insomnia.
It’s a blur.
It’s taking it one day at a time.
It’s sobbing on the floor.
It’s keeping yourself busy.
It’s eating your feelings.
It’s starving your feelings.
It’s hating the world.
It’s throwing things.
It’s crying yourself to sleep.
It’s flashbacks.
It’s depression.
It’s nightmares.
It’s faking a smile.
It’s gut wrenching.
It’s absolutely, utterly painful.
It’s something I wish no one had to experience.

We lost our daughter, Annelise, on December 2, 2021. 4 hours after her birth, we discovered she had an undiagnosed Congenital Heart Defect. Her right ventricle didn’t form correctly. Everything about her birth, to the Earth shattering news after her birth, was completely traumatizing for our family. The one thing we are extremely grateful for during our grief journey, is for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.

I thought all we would have to remember our daughter by are the pictures we took from our phone until the bereavement coordinator highly suggested we get pictures done with NILMDTS. I wasn’t sure of it at the time, but am SO grateful we chose to do it. The photographer has captured my daughter so beautifully.
These pictures, have meant SO much to our family since we have been home from the hospital. I love being able to look at these pictures daily and being reminded of the beauty that was my daughter. We will never be able to thank you enough for all that you do and have done, for not only our family, but the many other families who have endured the same traumatizing new reality of grief.

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