Poem: Samara’s Song

I carried her inside me
For nearly 40 weeks
I couldn’t wait to see her face
Hold her hand and kiss her cheeks
When we had the ultrasound
That said she was a girl
A mix of shock and pleasure
Set our minds into a whirl
I watched my belly grow and grow
Enjoyed her tiny jabs
I never knew these special times
Were all that I would have

I so looked forward to the joy
Of having three sweet girls
That would tell each other secrets
And together see the world
I thought we’d have a lifetime
To learn each other’s hearts
Too soon that hope was shattered
And my dreams were ripped apart

When we were told that she was gone
I cried in disbelief
The pain I felt within my heart
Brought never-ending grief
All too soon the time had come
To say hello and then goodbye
I held her close within my arms
All I could do was cry
She was so tiny and so perfect
My heart was full of love
For this precious little bundle
Sent to us from up above

I counted her 10 fingers
And 10 perfect tiny toes
Marveled at her head of hair
And kissed her little nose
The absence of my daughter’s cry
Was more than I could bear
My heart was filled with ache and loss
I cried out in despair
I don’t know how to let her go
I said through tears of pain
She has forever changed me
I will never be the same

The time had come to leave her
I sang a lullaby
Tucked her blanket tightly around her
Kissed her cheek and said goodbye
When I turned and walked away
Could be compared to none
To leave behind a part of me
Was the hardest thing I’ve done

I cried out in my suffering
For God to bring relief
To ease my anguish and my pain
Bring an end to endless grief
My God has made a promise
To those who bear his mark
To make beauty from the ashes
And bind up broken hearts
I cling tightly to his promise
He’ll be always by my side
To give me strength and hope and peace
In His shadow, I will hide
He’s brought me up out of the depths
Of grief, I’d sunk into
And shown me how she blessed me
And she can bless you, too

She taught me things in her short life
I hadn’t learned upon my own
She filled a hole within me
And my love has only grown
She taught me to have patience
To always give my love
To those who mean the most to me
And fix my heart on things above

She’s shown me that this life
Is here and then it’s gone
A vapor in the wind
A darkness before dawn
She taught me to find beauty
In the hardships in this life
To rise above the struggles
And the trials and the strife

Though she isn’t here to hold
I love her like no other
On her, my heart will fondly dwell
And I’ll always be her mother
She has no voice that we can hear
Though for it I do long
So until we meet again
This is Samara’s song

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