15 Years of Loving You: A Father’s Perspective on Honoring Zachary

If you’ve been following our family’s journey over the years, you’ve usually read these birthday updates written by my wife, Ali. She has always had a beautiful gift for putting into words the heartbreak, the hope, and the profound love we carry for our son, Zachary. But as we reach this major milestone—15 years since Zachary came into our world sleeping—I felt it was time for me to step forward and share my heart.

Fifteen.

It’s a big, milestone number. It’s driver’s permits, high school sports, deepening voices, and late-night talks about the future. Especially right now, as our home is filled with the wonderful, beautiful chaos of three growing kids, three dogs, and two bunnies, the passage of time feels strikingly real. Vivian will be turning 14 just a month after Zachary’s 15th birthday, Conner is 12, and Claire is 10.

Living in the middle of all that life, I often wonder who Zachary would be today. With Vivian out at the barn riding horses and Claire giving everything on the soccer field, I wonder if he would have shared that athletic, outdoor passion. Or would he have taken after me?

Lately, Conner has really stepped into a deep passion for video games and computers. Sharing that with him—sitting gaming together—has been one of my greatest joys as a dad. But every time we jump into a game together, I can’t help but wonder: Would Zachary have been right there with …