To the Dad’s on this Father’s Day,

Baby SJ by NILMDTS Affiliate Photographer Kat Hill

I still remember my first Father’s Day after SJ passed away, and how hard it was.

My wife and I had been trying for so long to start a family, and we were so excited when we found out we would finally be parents. That joy turned to heartbreak when, at twenty weeks, we received SJ’s diagnosis confirming his terminal condition.

With SJ being our firstborn, that made my first Father’s Day incredibly difficult. Anyone who knows me also knows that I lean into optimism and positivity. However, even with my naturally positive outlook, SJ’s absence weighed heavily on my mind and heart. I was committed to not making that day about my sorrow, but instead a celebration of who SJ was. I also wanted to honor my own father, who I am so lucky to have been raised by, and to celebrate my brother and friends who were thriving in fatherhood.

I felt that being sorrowful would be a disappointment to SJ. But looking back now, I recognize that grief may be one of the truest ways we express our love. Grief is a reflection of how deeply we love. We cannot grieve what we do not love, so why would I not allow myself to express how much I love SJ? Over time, through healing, I have come to realize that there is …